My Life

Well, hello blog, I have no idea what to write, but I shall. I want to use this blog to write about anything I please and my other blog I will use solely for my favorite song lyrics. So..... my life. I don't know what to think of it right now. A lot of changes have happened in the past 6 months or so. I had to make some hard decisions, work has changed from ok to not very pleasant, people have come and gone, I've slowly become unhappy and lost, and I don't know what to do. I do not want to go to school anymore, but I know I should, because I definitely want to move on from what I'm doing now and do something I enjoy. I've always wanted to be a teacher, and I am slowly working towards that. I love children. Is it bad that I like children more than adults? They are wonderful and they don't judge you. They just look up to you and love you and enjoy everything. Not a care in the world. But with adults, there is always superficial small talk, which I hate, and judgment and worries. But of course, it's not all bad, I just simply love children. Maybe I didn't have enough of a childhood. I am usually the oldest of my siblings, my friends, my cousins, my peers, and my classmates, so I have always been more mature and responsible. Even more so than my own mother. But I envy these people and children who seem not to have a care in the world. I have lived my life with constant worrying, stress, anxiety, striving for perfection, and fear of failure. This is a troublesome way to go through life. I would like to enjoy life more. Hopefully everything will work out. And this is how I think it will: Like I was saying before, I am going to school and I want to be a teacher. Someday I'll have my own cute classroom with smiling young children who admire me and who I love to teach. I will continue working at the restaurant I am at now, and if I can't stand it any longer, I will go to another restaurant. I like serving overall as a job while going to school. The tips make for great money that other flexible jobs just can't compare to. I would also like to move out. I think that would help me greatly, to have my own apartment, my own space, my own cute things in each cute room, just the way I envision. But I just need to make sure I can afford it while going to school. And finally, for the last and most important and most complicated thing in my life: love. For the past 5 years, I have gone from one relationship to the next to the next. I have made mistakes and have been confused. But hopefully I have grown from these experiences and true love awaits for me. And so I'm just passing the time and wishing and dreaming and hoping of a life where eveything falls into place.