Being Nice Doesn't Always Mean I Want You

I asked this question on Facebook about a month ago and got some good responses:

Ashley Schmidt wonders why, oh why, guys think that just because I'm nice to them (because I'm nice to everyone), they think I like them or they have a chance with me or something. Can't I just be nice? And since when does being nice to someone give them the right to pester you? Then you have to be a heartbreaker. Geez...

JH:
Maybe those particular guys aren't usually treated very nice.. Or, maybe they like you, and they think it's obvious to you, so when you're nice back and don't "turn" from it, they think you like them. Just a thought.

Ashley Schmidt:
Yeah, I think you're absolutely right about all of what you said.

JH:
Haha.. I've had personal experience with it.. Only the other way around.

Ashley Schmidt:
:(

JH:
Haha.. No, no sadness. Like I said, I was in the better position. :)

Ashley Schmidt:
Hmm, that's good. :) Sometimes it's just hard, because not everyone is meant to be together, but you still want to be nice and friendly, and when they take it the wrong way and they go for someone just because they give them the time of day and not because they actually like you, it just doesn't go well. I don't know, it's confusing.

JS:
maybe they're attracted to nice people? i'm a nice guy, i like nice girls.

Ashley Schmidt:
Yeah, thanks for your thoughts guys, it helps. I just don't like people to be sad.

JH:
You both make good points. :). It's true though, people get hurt when they only have the kindest of intentions. But getting turned down is practice for helping them realize how the game works. Just be nice when you do it is all. Haha

JS:
totally, and be upfront...nothing is worse than being lead on

Ashley Schmidt:
Yeah, that's probably my problem, I should be more upfront from the start. Thanks for the advice. It helps to see how girls and guys view this stuff!

AS:
I totally agree with you on that! I often wonder the same thing!

Ashley Schmidt:
Well AS, we learn something new every day!

AL:
if you are having a situation remarkably similar to mine than I am soo sorry

KM:
You are so cute Ashley!! You are the nicest person in the world!!

Ashley Schmidt:
AL, kind of, but not as creepy. I hope everything goes ok for you with that. Let me know if he bothers you. It's not too big of a deal, it's just something that has happened to me several times and I was just trying to figure out why. And KM, thanks, you're so sweet! I try, but of course I have my bad days too when I'm stressed and not so nice. Haha :) And, by the way, you're probably nicer than me!

Ashley Schmidt:
Just for an example: This semester in one of my classes, this nerdy guy (and I have a soft spot for nerds, come on, I'm pretty much a nerd!) picked me out for whatever reason on the 2nd day of class. I was introducing myself to the girls next to me and he introduced himself to us. Then, everyday after class, he was waiting out in the hall for me and I had no choice but to walk to my next class with him tagging along. And I obliged him with conversation and after a couple times, he asked if we could study some time and I was like, maybe, I don't know. And he was like, well I should get your number in case we need to meet up. So, what did I do? I gave it to him! Mistake. I told him I was very busy and blah blah blah. But he texted me every single day!! First, he asked stupid questions about class, and then about personal things like my schedule and where I live. Kinda creepy actually. He even texted me at midnight when I had work early the next morning and that really

Ashley Schmidt:
(continued)... pissed me off. So, he sat next to me in the next class and waited outside for me after, and I just pretended like I didn't see him and walked right on by. He still caught up to me and talked to me. But since then, he's stayed completely away. I guess he got the message. I know that was totally mean of me and I could've handled the situation differently, but now I know. Because this situation isn't even the main situation I was thinking about when I posted this staus. Anyways, thanks for your feedback guys and sorry I wrote so much!! Now I'm off to class! Yep, that one! haha

AL:
Some guys just come on too strong which is uncomfortable. Its a shame because it would be nice to just be friends.

KM:
I learned that when I was in high school, and a guy really really liked me, and I didn't like him at all, and instead of just saying.. I'm not interested.. I secretly planned for him to start flirted and dating my friend. Holy cow it totally worked. I than realized.. it would of been a lof faster if I just told him, so that is what I do! :)

Ashley Schmidt:
Yep, good thoughts gals!